New Plan

So it's pretty clear.
Wilson captured it perfectly for me this morning: I am at war with steroids, am on a constant march towards a better drug regime and we're all pretty fed up with it.

The instruction from my oncologist is that this is mine to manage, the swelling I suffered is completely normal; and no, we don't know whether it will happen again. Could have been a one-off, it might not be. Moreover, the difference between 16mg per day and the current 24mg per day is NOT an additional 50% effectiveness. The next round of chemo does have a window, and I do need to reduce the drug load to give myself some headroom just in case.

So, I opted for the second round on 10th June, I will reduce my steroids between now and then down to as little as I can to "make me feel good". My speech is ok, my reading is poor, my hand has lost some sensation, but you know what, I can live with all that far better than the side effects of everything else. Nothing is getting worse, and that's the key indicator. It may just be the next "normal".

So, I'm done with the complaining. I may well have more than a passing resemblance to Boy George in his drugs phase, though I have a better beard, it IS in my control. I've got work to do now to get my energy back, and I know that has to include taking appropriate rest and care. In the meantime I apologise to my husband for being at war, and I promise my daughter we will have more Mummy-Darcey time, finding more fun words for Mummy to say.

And to you all accompanying me on this journey, thank you. What bloody depressing reading! I may be quiet from time to time, but don't respond to that, I'd really rather go back to the gallows humour!